


there's a fire within my soul

by KayCeeCruz



Category: As the World Turns
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-04
Updated: 2010-10-04
Packaged: 2017-10-12 10:02:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/123696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KayCeeCruz/pseuds/KayCeeCruz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seriously. This whole being-in-love-with-his-roommate-and-not-being-any-good-at-hiding-it thing <i>so</i> had to end. Because eventually, he knows even clueless, sweet, completely not at all interested in him Noah would notice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	there's a fire within my soul

**Author's Note:**

> College Roommate AU! I really enjoyed this and hope maybe I get inspired for more in this verse. Thanks to Shannon and Dani for the ninja beta.

**there's a fire within my soul**

 

The chimes of the bells indicate the six o'clock mark and Luke grins, heart beats just a bit faster. He looks carefully around the counseling office's waiting room, locks the door before heading to the bathrooms. He takes a quick look around, calls out to make sure no one is left behind then rushes back to the front, shuts down the computer and gathers his books.

He is out the door and walking across the campus grounds, breathes in the smell of the grass as he makes a brisk path toward his dorm. Luke's gaze takes in the group of guys milling around the front door, tossing a ball back and forth. He instantly recognizes one of the figures, watches Kevin tense when he notices Luke and holds back a sigh.

He is not in the mood.

"Hey, Snyder, where you going in such a hurry?"

Luke rolls his eyes and doesn't answer Kevin's taunting at all. It's better that way since they'll only end up making snide remarks that will lead to a fight and he has better things to do. He keeps his head down and walks into his dorm, turns down the hall toward his room.

Way better things like make it in time for Movie Night.

He feels the smile cross his face and he thinks that maybe tonight he'll actually have the courage to ask –

"Oof!"

Luke slams straight into the block of muscle that is Ben, his resident adviser, and stumbles to keep from falling on his ass. Ben grabs his arms and steadies, smirking down at him.

"You got a hot date, Luke?"

Luke knows his face is flushing red as he shakes his head. " _No_. It's just – you know – it's Friday and -"

"Which is usually date night."

Luke knows Ben is teasing and he swallows, tries to explain. "Well – yeah – but, no – I mean – that's not -"

He really needs to stop stuttering.

Ben laughs and pats his head. "Okay, dude. Okay. Say hello to Noah for me." He walks away, snorting at the loud sigh Luke gives but doesn't look back.

Seriously. This whole being-in-love-with-his-roommate-and-not-being-any-good-at-hiding-it thing _so_ had to end. Because eventually, he knows even clueless, sweet, completely not at all interested in him Noah would notice.

And won't _that be_ an awkward conversation.

Luke rolls his eyes at himself and makes his way down the corridor to the room he shares with Noah. He passes a couple of open doorways – their occupants in various states of activities - waves when he's greeted loudly by Danny and Alex but doesn't stop to talk. He glances at his watch. It's his turn to set everything up and he wants to make sure it's ready by the time Noah gets back from his shift at the library.

He opens the door to their room and is hit by that familiar warmth of being in the one place he feels safest on campus. It smells like them – Noah's sandalwood cologne and Luke's way too expensive deodorant mixed with the scent of sweat and male. It sends Luke's synapses off every time and he wonders how he's managed to keep his control for so long. They're going on their second year as roommates and somehow Luke hasn't gotten used to how Noah makes him feel.

It seems to be getting worse.

He thinks on how he wasted so much time wanting someone else when Noah had been _right there_ and he missed his chance to act on it.

There was a time he remembers Noah looking at _him_ the same way _he_ thinks he looks at Noah now. But that had before they'd become best friends and Luke had shifted into something else for Noah.

He shakes his head out of those depressing thoughts and gets busy putting everything together.

 

**

He pounces on Noah the moment he walks into their room, tries not to laugh at the startled look Noah sends him as he grabs Noah's pack and throws it into the closet, closing the door quickly.

"No checking over notes or looking at your latest treatment or whatever million other things you can finish up tomorrow. We have a date, Noah Mayer."

Noah pauses for a second, raises one eyebrow and Luke swears he sees a flash of an unidentifiable emotion in his eyes before he gives Luke that slow burner smile that turns his knees to jelly and his mind to mush.

"Is that so?"

Luke simply nods. He doesn't think his mouth would be capable of any words other than "uh?" or "ngggghhh" so it's safer this way. He heads to the little area they'd designated their "living room" even if it was only consisted of a loveseat they barely both fit in (which made it Luke's favorite place in the whole world) and Luke's parents' gift for having made dean's list his first year: a flat screen that they used for both a computer monitor and their entertainment center.

Noah had been so glad that they'd managed to be assigned as roommates for a second year and that they'd scored one of the bigger dorm rooms. Luke suspects that those coincidences have his Grandmother Lucinda's fingerprints all over them.

His family had all taken to Noah like a fish to water - or whatever that stupid saying was - when Noah had come home with Luke for the holidays. His sisters loved him (and Luke suspects that Faith might have a little crush). Ethan had designated Noah as his new best friend and made him play trains/games/hide and seek any time Noah was free. His grandmother Emma practically cried when Noah had told her that his mother had died when he was three which resulted in Noah getting the special chocolate chip cookies made just for him (Luke suspects she might give him the recipe if they ever told her about Noah's father). His aunt Meg had gushed over how adorable he was and made Noah blush so much Luke had been afraid his friend would pass out from all that blood rushing to his head.

His dad had been kind but cautious of Noah until the morning after they'd arrived. Noah had gotten up at the crack of dawn to help with the chores. Luke is pretty sure his dad might have been considering adopting Noah.

It was his mother's reaction to Noah that had worried Luke the most. She was (and he thinks probably still is) struggling with Luke's sexuality and she'd been polite as always. Kind to Noah. But always distant. He hadn't realized his mother could see right through him still and she'd known Luke's feelings long before Luke had.

But somehow by the time they'd left, Lily had been as smitten with Noah as everyone else.

He makes a mental note to ask Noah what it was exactly that he'd done to Luke's mom to change her mind that way.

Noah is staring at him from his position on the loveseat and Luke blinks, gives him a bemused half-smile. "Sorry. Thinking."

Noah grins up at him and Luke's heart stutters. He swears he can hear it echo in the room.

"What have I told you about that, Snyder?"

"Bite me, Mayer."

That look flashes by again and Luke swallows hard. He thinks it means something but he can't ask. Not Noah. Not after everything that happened with Kevin. He'd screwed up a lot of things in the last couple of years, but he is determined his friendship with Noah will not be one of them.

He can control his feelings. It's a testament to how much Luke can ignore things that he has so far neither a) blurted out his undying love to Noah, b) gone on a drinking binge because he hasn't blurted out his dying love to Noah, or c) jumped Noah. None of those scenarios ends nicely in Luke's head.

So he pretends and that's okay because he gets to sit next to Noah, hug him at any given time when he needs to, lean against him while they sit studying or watching TV or hanging with friends, and just bask in Noah being...Noah.

Noah is an incredibly handsy guy but no one will catch Luke complaining.

He shakes his head and smiles at the funny look he's getting from Noah. "Sorry." Pulling out the movies from the his bag, he hides a grin when he hands them over. Noah's brows rises when he catches the title of the first DVD.

"Mamma Mia? Really?"

"You like it!"

"I liked it when I saw it the first time. Doesn't mean I want to see it a million and one more times like someone I'm not naming."

"You are such a film snob, oh my god."

Noah makes a face before he flips to the next DVD, glancing up at Luke when he sees what it is.

"You didn't have to, Luke."

"It's your favorite. It was only fair."

Noah's expression seems half-way between amused and confused. Luke likes that look on him. Noah looks away, setting _The Best Years of Our Lives_ on the table. He won't make Luke watch it with him tonight but in the morning, Luke will wake up to Noah engrossed in the film. It'll give him a chance to watch Noah, unfiltered, something only Luke gets to occasionally see. These are the rare times Noah lets all his guard down and it's why he loves their Movie Nights so much.

The last movie makes Noah grin up at him. " _Batman_!"

Luke nods and grins back. "We were gonna need a compromise."

"Can we watch this one first, then?"

Luke laughs and waves Noah toward the DVD player. "Who in the world says no to the Caped Crusader."

**

The Joker has tricked Vicky Vale into their disturbing museum date when Luke starts to feel his eyes drift shut. It's not that he doesn't enjoy the movie, because he does. But it's been a week filled with volunteering at the counseling office, two papers, three exams to study for and the unfortunate taco night fiasco that had gone on until way too early in the morning Wednesday. He's tired.

And then there is the fact that he's pressed into Noah's side, flush against his hip, his face nestled into Noah's neck. He takes a deep breath. The scent of warm skin, sweat and under all of that Noah makes his head spin and he makes a noise, something between a curse and a moan.

Noah seems to freeze for a moment but then his arm slides across Luke shoulders and he pulls him in closer. His hot breath is on Luke's cheek, one hand sliding down Luke's arm...

Luke is awake now.

He turns his face up, studies the line of Noah's jaw and swallows hard when deep blue gaze meets his own. "Noah."

"Yeah?"

He can feel the words on his lips but they won't come out. This isn't a joke. He knows without anyone needing to tell him that meeting Noah changed the course of his life.

Luke closes his eyes because seriously. _Dramatic much, Snyder?_ When he opens them again, Noah is giving him that look again – amused with a slight hint of befuddled.

He has to say something so he grabs at the first thing that comes to mind.

"Will you come to Thanksgiving again this year?"

Noah blinks, eyes searching Luke's. "You want me to?" They're so close that Luke feels the words on his skin rather than hears them.

Luke rolls his eyes. "Of course. Hell, I don't think I'm welcome if I don't bring you with me. I told you my Dad wants to --"

He makes a surprised noise in the back of his throat when Noah leans in to kiss him. It takes his mouth a moment to catch up _because Noah is kissing him holy shit_ but he opens his lips, shivers when he feels the languid stroke of Noah's tongue. He slides down and back onto the cushions, one hand delving into Noah's hair. They're pressed together from chest to knees and it's overwhelming. He can feel Noah's skin, hot on his, their mouths slanted, tastes mingling and he's so hard it's painful.

Noah rolls his hips and Luke groans as Noah's erection pushes against his. If it feels this good when they're fully clothed, he really doesn't think he'll survive the nakedness. He whimpers at the image of Noah, sweaty and slick above him.

"Luke?"

He's having a hard time breathing.

He opens his eyes to see Noah's flushed face, lips swollen and a little bruised. His heart constricts more and he licks his lips, breathes deep.

"Are you okay?" Noah touches his face with slightly trembling fingers and Luke wants to yell out his happiness that he has that effect on Noah. He's starting to move away and no. That won't do. Luke grips Noah's hips, holds him in place.

"It's – I've been waiting for – I didn't realize -"

Noah stare wide eyed and then raises an eyebrow, skeptical. "You had _no_ idea I was crazy about you?"

Luke's heart leaps in joy. "No."

Noah's head falls forward and he chuckles softly. "Jesus, how are you so _smart_ and so _stupid_ at the _same time_?"

Luke grins. "It's a gift." When Noah looks up at him, his eyes are dark, serious and Luke knows what that means. He puts a finger to Noah's mouth so he won't talk. "I get you think we should talk. And we totally should. I agree. But tomorrow, okay?"

Noah watches him and nods, starts to push off again. Luke makes a frustrated sound and grips the back of Noah's head, steadies him in place. "Talk tomorrow. Make out right now."

He slides his arms around Noah's neck, pulls him down, kisses the corners of Noah's mouth and says, "This is the best movie night _ever_."

Luke breathes in Noah's laughter and grins when Noah brushes their noses together.

"Group night is going to _suck_ from now on."

Noah kisses him and Luke's response gets lost somewhere between them.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is love.
> 
> Leave here or at [LJ](http://freakykat.livejournal.com/301233.html?mode=reply)


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